Poem: I Am Tired, July 2020
I am tired of searching for meaning
And reading about letting go
I am tired of preaching the meaning
Of proclaiming Yes and getting No
I am tired of reaching for meaning
In the jumble of feelings and yearnings, though
Being Tired, I have all the time I need
To ease into the web of life
Being Tired, I have all the rhyme
The desires of my heart to midwife praise
Being Tired, I am still in my prime
Of life, believing hope is still rife
This poem emerged from meditation time, the first week of July, when encouraged to reflect on who we are and how we feel.
I am tired of life constrained by a pandemic.
I am tired of self-centered people who do not care enough about others to wear a mask.
I am tired of selfishness and greed that seem to set the standard of what the good life is all about.
I am judgemental here, and it is not about beliefs, it is about values.
I am tired of being angry every time I read or listen to the news.
I am tired of world leaders of the three largest economies in the world creating more trouble, and not using their wealth to solve world problems, work for peace or help people.
I am tired of self improvement.
I am tired of avoiding physical contact.
I am tired of wondering what I want to do now that I cannot do what I really want to do now.
I am tired of waiting for this to be over.
I am tired of looking for information about what will keep me safe.
I am tired of wondering if I am doing the right thing.
I am tired of being tired!
Yes, I am aware of people being hopeful. People believing that maybe this time it will be different. We will recognize our mistakes, how we have to change, how our generation has screwed up the world while having “the good life”. I am one who tries to remain hopeful, believing that a crisis can lead us to change.
A while ago I quoted someone who said, “Lies will take you far, but they will not take you home”. I believe the same is true for greed. It will take you far and you may even have enough money to get you out of this life in style; but at what cost to the world, to others, to the quality of life of the world? What is the legacy you leave behind? When you are gone you leave behind a path, a witness, a teaching, that corrupts those who follow you. It is a well-worn path, littered with many bodies who have sought the heights of fame and fortune instead of the depths of love and connection.
Prejudice, racism and sexism are all ways of affirming that I am better than you for some trivial reason, the color of your skin, the cut of your hair, the amount of money I make, the kind of car you drive, the way you believe in God or don’t believe in God. I go to my strength and pit it against your perceived weakness — and judge you and me.
Evolutionary thinking says that we are just growing up as human beings. Some are open to movement and change, and others are content to be where they are. Evolutionary thinking recognizes that we are people who have different beliefs and values, yet share a common planet, a common life, and maybe even a common dream of belonging to a human family that cares about one another.
I am amazed at the conspiracy theories people believe. I am still astounded at what lengths people will go to, to remain the same, to preserve their status quo. Yet, we are very much on the cusp of an evolutionary change in human understanding. A change that could lead to a change in attitude and behaviour. Maybe it took a worldwide pandemic to get us to the brink. Maybe we will all be so far in debt that we really will need to commit to be in this recovery together; rather than just letting “We are all in this together” be a momentary awareness to get us through this COVID-19 crisis.
Just have faith. But what kind of faith is that? In the reformation there was a great battle that led to the Protestant movement. Wars were fought. Refugees left Europe to establish new colonies in the new world. A shift in consciousness led to a new sense of freedom, new teaching universities emerged, science took on the exploration of the world. Now 500 years later there is another reformation shaping up. One that is attempting to unite the world while valuing differences. Recognizing the gifts and value of all people irrespective of color of skin, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, abilities, religion or race. Affirming that we are one human family. And what is unifying us is the realization that we really are all in this together and if we cannot get our act together there may not be a future for human beings on this planet.
If we make it, this time will most likely become known as the Age of Responsibility.